we\ need\ to\ talk

we\ need\ to\ talk
1. (we need to talk) (1360↑, 49↓)
You are screwed.

"George, we need to talk. Are you cheating on me?" "Fuck."

2. (we need to talk) (689↑, 137↓)
Is your clue that you need to act quick. If you're good you'll beable to dump her before she dumps you. If you're really good, you'll fuck her first and then dump her before she wants to cuddle.

-Situation A- Woman: We need to tal... Man: (interupting) I've been thinking, and ... you're a slut. And I want your sister. -Situation B- Woman: We need to talk. Man: That sounds wonderful. I have been planning to have you come over to my place and to cook you a candle lit meal. The Plan: Pick her up and take her to your place (she'll feel dependent on you and won't break up b/c she needs a ride home). Suck it up and cook something she likes. Include wine, cucumbers and good n plentys (they'll all make her horny). After dinner play some good music. By then the wine will be kicking in and she'll be doubting her earlier plans and you can work your stuff. It'll be some of the best sex you'll have b/c she'll have been through a bunch of woman emotional stuff. She'll most-likely be on top too. Once your done with firsts and possibly seconds. Tell her you need to take her home so you can get to work tomorrow. Dump her at her door step. Do not back down and keep seeing her. If you do, she'll dump you for sure in 4-7 days. Peace and happy masterbating.

3. (we need to talk) (383↑, 46↓)
womens secret code for : haha sonny, you're fucked.

honey, about our relationship, we gotta talk.

4. (we need to talk) (282↑, 70↓)
Actually means, 'I need to talk, You better listen'. Generally pronounced by a female voice

Susan: Dera, we need to talk. Sam: (time to put all my non-listening skills I been practicing)

5. (we need to talk) (260↑, 86↓)
female version of "I need to complain"

"We need to talk" will often be said after toilet seats are left in the upright position, and/or you come before she does and/or in the event of forgotten anniversaries.

6. (we need to talk) (155↑, 28↓)
Variation of "I like you but you aren't what I want"; "I need to complain about something"; "I'm a muff diving whore"

X- Hey Sam? Sam- What? X- We need to talk... Sam- Oh shit...

7. (we need to talk) (124↑, 29↓)
what is usually said at the office before a long-winded speech by the boss. Is often followed by "Your services are no longer needed."

"Jack, we need to talk. Since profits are down by 12% and we are looking to downsize the corporation, I am going to have to tell you that your services are no longer needed. Go luck finding around job."

8. (we need to talk) (108↑, 13↓)
Female code for "This relationship is over"

Hunny, we need to talk...

9. (we need to talk) (93↑, 8↓)
According to George Costanza, "the worst four words in the English language." Added Jerry Seinfeld, "either that or 'whose bra is this?'"

Before breaking up with him, George's girlfriend let him know that "we need to talk."

10. (we need to talk) (84↑, 17↓)
the 4 words u never wanna hear when u think your relationship is going well.

Girlfriend: Jason, we need to talk. Jason: (thinking) I'm screwed.

11. (we need to talk) (80↑, 19↓)
She means "I want to [whine], [bitch], and [nag] about something you did, known and unknown to you\!" It can also mean that she has nothing worth saying at all. Be prepared for a half-hour [impromptu] sermon on whatever she has on her mind (and that would me many random things). It is especcially annoying when she uses the word "we", knowing damn well that SHE is the one who will be doing all the talking.

Susan: Honey, we need to talk about your insensitivity to my feelings.

12. (we need to talk) (66↑, 5↓)
basically, your girl has something to bitch about.

"Honey, we need to talk."

13. (we need to talk) (64↑, 10↓)
i need to talk.

woman: "we need to talk." man: 'shit\!'

14. (we need to talk) (52↑, 2↓)
Read: "Sorry honey, it's over."

My girl called me up and said "we need to talk," and i knew it was over.

15. (we need to talk) (49↑, 2↓)
1) The most pointless phrase in the English language because you are already talking when you say this. 2) Means: You're screwed. 3) Signals the beginning of the end of a relationship. 4) Your wife/girlfriend wants to bitch about something. The perfect time to fake a heart attack.

1) A: We need to talk B: We already are, dumbass. 2) A: We need to talk B: Ahh shit. 3) A: We need to talk B: *packs bags* 4) A: We neeed to talk B: *falls to the ground clutching heart*

16. (we need to talk) (49↑, 6↓)
The worst thing a man can hear from his woman. It undoubtedly signals the oncoming of a long drawn out conversation about how you don't have a vagina and how she doesn't understand that. Other features are senseless bitching about her ridiculous insecurities that defy logic and rationality.

Woman- "Are you busy? Because we need to talk" Man- "FUCK\!"...."I mean, sure honey." "Dammit, now I have to pretend like I care for another bullshit conversation."

Author: White Suburban Male http://we-need-to-talk.urbanup.com/686917
17. (we need to talk) (44↑, 7↓)
The begining to the portal of oblivion in which the male will be forced into a comma like state due to prior knowledge of the "talk" portal. Commonly the male is subject to female complaining, bitching, whining, sometimes tears. If this happens the male tends to become either aggressive or resembles a deer in headlights. There is no real end to this portal and the male never quite know's the length in which he will be in it, but while inside he knows it's sheer hell. This is commonly the opening line to a demise of a relationship.

A. I've been thinking, and we need to talk... B. (mind): Aw SHIT\! (words): Okay honey

18. (we need to talk) (43↑, 9↓)
The beginning of the end in terms of relationships.

Girl: Honey, we need to talk. Boy: Oh for fucks sake..

19. (we need to talk) (38↑, 6↓)
phrase suggestive of a problem or figmented occurence of an anomaly within the relationship matrix that is regularly preceded or followed by a female friend/significant other/spouse standing in front of the television during one of a number of pivotal guy-moments, performed ALWAYS at the wrong time, such as: (a) Within the last period/quarter/few minutes of any close game. (b) The last (or only) game of any championship, ESPECIALLY in the most pivotal part (NBA Finals, World Series, Super Bowl, Stanley Cup Finals, any Game 7). (c) Any episode of "The Man Show". (d) The last level or final boss of any video game you're about to beat.

Announcer: "Johnson's at the 20, one defender to beat\! Clock's ticking down... final seconds... he's at the 5... does a spin move... he can't shake him..." [[TV GETS TURNED OFF AND BLOCKED BY SAID FEMALE\!\!]] "We need to talk"

20. (we need to talk) (33↑, 3↓)
Translation: You need a lawyer.

Honey, we need to talk.

21. (we need to talk) (44↑, 16↓)
The phrase that proves your girlfriend has a tampon shoved too far up the wrong hole.

"We need to talk" "No you need to talk, I'll just pretend I'm listening"

22. (we need to talk) (29↑, 2↓)
Some womens way of saying "It's over, see ya later\!" or A way a woman can state indirectly "Honey, you're really fucked if you don't listen to me now." 2) A woman's way of pleading, "Listen to me now or else I'm walking out the door" type statement. The need of complaining when has been "patient" in there mind of not saying something that's been bothering them for so long and finally can't take it anymore. When women say "We Need To Talk" or a -Guy- could say that even, something serious has happened to his/her mind frame and can't hold it back any longer when they've been holding back from the start. Or in other words, A -MAJOR- sign of Lack of Good Communication Skills between the couple which has hit a bump and one partner hasn't recognized the signs of it from the beginning that -may- cost the relationship. =S

"Baby, we need to talk. There's alot on my mind I need to say..."

23. (we need to talk) (28↑, 2↓)
1. Your girlfriend wants to break up with you 2. Your parents found your stash.

1. We need to talk. I hate you. 2. We need to talk. I found this in your dresser.

24. (we need to talk) (28↑, 3↓)
1) The preamble to a serious conversation. 2) The preamble to the discussion that is generally followed by the ending of a relationship. See also [death].

Bernadine: Howard, we need to talk. Howard: Oh shit.

25. (we need to talk) (30↑, 6↓)
Datespeak for "I'm breaking up with you."

"Honey... We need to talk."

26. (We need to talk) (26↑, 3↓)
The four words in a relationship nobody wants to hear.

He said, We need to talk and I thought Oh damn\!

27. (we need to talk) (42↑, 20↓)
What she says. He hears: "Fuck off and die." He thinks: "I guess this means no blowjob tonight."

She: "We need to talk." He: "I guess this means no blowjob tonight."

28. (we need to talk) (23↑, 2↓)
synonym: i'm dumping you, i'm sleeping with someone else, you're screwed
29. (we need to talk) (22↑, 3↓)
the WORSE combination of four words in the dictionary. usually implies the future action in a realtionship aka, hes dumping you.

Jack- Betty, we need to talk. Betty- oh shit

30. (we need to talk) (29↑, 10↓)
1. You're screwed because your significant other has been fucking the plumber for the past 12 months. 2 You're screwed because your boss is going to bitch at you for doing your job, or, as he sees it, not doing enough to "further company productivity", probably by giving him head.

1. We need to talk Al. You're just not as good in bed as your brother, who, incedentally, I started screwing two days after we met. 2. We need to talk Al. You haven't been working 10 hours overtime a week for no pay, filing in your copious spare time, or doing anything else so insanely outside of your job description or beneath your skill -level that I can be happy with you.

31. (we need to talk) (26↑, 9↓)
1) your fucked 2) the wife found your collection of porn

situation: the girlfriend walks in on you beating off girlfriend: we need to talk man: aww fuck

32. (we need to talk) (17↑, 2↓)
The four worst words in the english language. Either that or "whose bra is this?"

Woman: David, we need to talk. Dave: FUCK\!

33. (we need to talk) (16↑, 1↓)
I'm leaving you, shmuck.

We need to talk. I'm moving back with my Mom.

34. (we need to talk) (17↑, 2↓)
Its over

Man-Step up bitch fo shizzel ma nizzle. Woman-We need to talk.

35. (we need to talk) (16↑, 2↓)
prelude to the end of a relationship, "we need to talk" allows someone to move into the reasons for the break-up before the shouting can begin.

We need to talk, David. You're an asshole and I think we should see other people. (It's best for both of us)

36. (we need to talk) (13↑, 0↓)
1. The end of your relationship. 2. Something that could mean the end of your relationship unless you take it REALLY seriously. 3. I'm going to leave you Richter, you never have any time for me... Bitch. Didn't figure my work was paying for her fuckin- Ah. Sorry.
37. (we need to talk) (13↑, 1↓)
Generic phrase used in all cultures to denote the ending of a relationship and the final dispersement of common property. Tip of the iceberg.

Call me. We need to talk. It's okay.

38. (we need to talk) (14↑, 3↓)
only way to save face after having this statement directed toward you is to fall to the ground and fake a seizure, anurism, or massive myocardial infarction (heart attack).
39. (we need to talk) (13↑, 2↓)
It means someone needs to talk to you. Or if your penis is inable of pleasuring a woman, it COULD mean something else.

Hey, we need to talk. I think I have a plan for robbing that bank. -Hey. We need to talk, about last night... Yea. You know. That fives minutes. YEA that five minutes.

40. (we need to talk) (13↑, 3↓)
when you walk in to your house and ur mother is sitting on the in a chair crying. and ur father is holding a baggy and pipe combo. Then u here them say son "we need to talk" advice’ either turn and hall ass as fast as u can down the block or stay there and take you ass kickin like a man. normaly when u hear the line "we need to talk it means your in for a long night. OR "hey babe hows it goin. uhh we need to talk." that normaly means that your girl friend or soon to be x girlfriend has another guy picked out and ready to ride him and you ass is gettin kicked to the curb\! so if u here"we need to talk" that means nothing good it to come. best o put on ear muffs and walk away. because ur either gettin bitched at or dumped.

father,"nate we need to talk" nate,"shit\!" father,"i cant believe u brought this shit in to my house. ur not my son." nate,"thats nothing compared to what u use to have." father,"U MEAN THER WAS MORE\!" father,"get over here u little son of a whore ur dead i fuckin hate u\!","your going to rehab" thats pretty much what happen at my house last night

41. (we need to talk) (11↑, 1↓)
I'm gonna drop you like a [sack of potatoes].

Guy: "Ummm, hi Sallie, I really like you." Sallie: "We need to talk\!"

42. (we need to talk) (11↑, 2↓)
A woman's way of addressing an issue with her boyfriend/husband generally resulting in the boyfriend/husband first breaking out into a sweat/rash/hives and then being severly punished (dumped) for whatever they did wrong

After Mike called Sandy a whore at the opera, Sandy told Mike "we need to talk"

43. (we need to talk) (11↑, 3↓)
I need to dump you, and it's suddenly "our" problem/fault. Often said to be a girl phrase, is in fact used just as often by guys. When employed in e-mail, is an attempt to simultaneously sever e-mail contact and preclude actual "talk"...

emails: We need to talk. I'll call you. Never quite summons up courage to call. Hopes like hell she won't e-mail or ring, and that he can skulk off into the night. Sign of cowardice, therefore an automatic disqualifier when it comes to relationship material...

44. (we need to talk) (10↑, 2↓)
The 4 most fatal words to a relationship. (usually said by the "Female Companion") If you hear her say these words dump her fast\! WARNING: She may not want to break up so be careful.

Female Companion: "We need to talk" Guy: thinks to himself "Shit\!"

45. (we need to talk) (9↑, 1↓)
your screwed your girlfriend is leavin you

heyy baby we need to talk

46. (we need to talk) (15↑, 8↓)
What a person says when he has something to discuss.

Boy: We need to talk. Girl: ... Boy: We need a new shower head.

47. (We need to talk) (9↑, 2↓)
Things have suddenly gone south\!\!\!

Fat chick: We need to talk. Redneck:I'll pack your bags for you, whore.

48. (we need to talk) (6↑, 0↓)
Girl language for "I'm about to smash your heart to tiny pieces" The best thing to do in this situation is cry. Crying shows [sensitivity]. Tell her you've never been happier with a woman and beg her not to break your heart. Most of the time, YOU are the victim. Be very careful though, it could be something small.

Annie: We need to talk. Josh: What's wrong? Annie: I might have feelings for someone else. Josh: This really hurts. Please don't break my heart, I can't take it. Annie: We're only taking a short break, I care about you and I don't want to hurt you. Josh: *Choking up* You know I've never been happier with a woman. Please don't ruin this for me. Annie: It's only a break, I just need time to figure out my feelings. Josh: *Softly sobbing* Annie: Please don't cry Josh: I can't help it at this point, I'm so scared of having my heart broken again Annie, a few days later: I love you. Let's be together

49. (we need to talk) (6↑, 0↓)
i need to bitch to you about something that is damned serious.

honey, we need to talk about how to control our son's desire for porn.

50. (we need to talk) (8↑, 3↓)
A time to have a heart attack, lay down and die. Especially when a guy says it.

Guy: Baby, we need to talk Girl: Um..ok? Guy: It's not working out Girl: *has a heart attack & dies*

51. (we need to talk) (8↑, 3↓)
Synonym for: Hahaha, you're fucked now, aren't ya? Go fuck yourself you dumbass.

We need to talk, Tim.

52. (we need to talk) (7↑, 2↓)
your screwed and fucked up its over...i cant believe you fucked my mom...

jennie told steve she couldnt believe hed fucked her mom AGAIN so she told him they needed to talk

53. (we need to talk) (5↑, 1↓)
The four most dreaded words known to man, whether they be spoken by a significant other, boss, roommate, parent, friend, etc. Usually means you fucked up big time and are about to be dumped, fired, kicked out, disciplined, or at least threatened with some form of punishment or formal rejection. Known to be a leading cause of mini-heart attacks and paranoia.

We need to talk. Oh shit, what did I do?

54. (we need to talk) (4↑, 0↓)
usually when a person needs to give you excruciating bad news, a divorce, a death, a certain behaviour that you might be giving to your parents...lol

hey justin...ive been meaning to tell you this... yes kelly, we need to talk.

Author: suburbanpictionary.com http://we-need-to-talk.urbanup.com/261357
55. (we need to talk) (4↑, 0↓)
You are fired.

About your behaviour at last night's company bbq...well... we need to talk.

56. (we need to talk) (3↑, 0↓)
when you have screwed up or you are caught doing something wrong or if the woman generally feels like bitching at you about something, anything, this expression will be used when guys hear this they get nervous and are like "oh fuck"

Melanie: We need to talk.. Joe: Oh for fuck sakes...

57. (we need to talk) (8↑, 5↓)
meaning (we) need to talk about shit I need to do.

girfriend: Rob, we need to talk. Rob: Fuck\! Trying to watch the game here.

58. (we need to talk) (7↑, 4↓)
Womanspeak for I don't like anything about you except you enormous cock/paycheck and you aren't being sensitive to my needs (big cock and paycheck).

Woman:We need to talk Man:For the love of fucking Christ, what now? (under his breath) Woman:You aren't listening to me. Man:Get my check book. Go fuck a hat(under his breath)

59. (we need to talk) (4↑, 1↓)
see: time for you to run like a chipmunk on red bull.

Listen Johnny, about that thirty thousand you owe me... We need to talk..

60. (we need to talk) (3↑, 1↓)
That's what a woman says to her boyfriend when he fucked up.

If your woman says this, run because you're fucked\!

61. (we need to talk) (6↑, 4↓)
Usually what the [bitch] sais after you dump your [load] on her face. A very good indicator that you''l be sleeping on the coach and getting no [pussy] for a long time.

After emptying his sack onto her kisser, Janice told Bob that they 'need to talk.'

62. (we need to talk) (4↑, 3↓)
How someone kicks off a conversation where it will be only they talking, and you sweating. Just the mere mention of these words can frighten your partner or employees. The best comeback is indifference to what they're saying, and a hearty "Fuck you". Or, alternatively, plan to do something that they'll really like as soon as they say this, then, at the end of it, say this to them, and fuck them off.

there are enough examples in this definition already.

63. (We need to talk) (6↑, 6↓)
1. girlfriend or wife pissed off and wants to end relationship (in case of wife we advise you to find a damn good lawyer) 2. your parents found your stash or are fed up with in there house (normally the second one never happens because they want it to be like you solved it so you cant say they kicked you out) 3.boss thinks your not working enough (because you where not working 24 hoar shifts with no pay) so he is firing you. 4. (rarest of all)girlfriend or wife just want to cuss you out or wants you to tell you to never see your friends again.

1.wife: honey we need to talk. husband: (thinking) DAMN where is the number for my lawyer. (mind you this had 2 so i might as well put the 2nd one down) girlfriend: honey we need to talk dude: (thinking) shit 2.parents son we need to talk what is this kid:(thinking) o crap they found my stash better think fast... (the second one) parents: son we need to talk we want you out of our house now you have been here for a year now and you said a week and you'd be back on your feet 3. boss: we need to talk, seeing as you hardly work and our sales are down by 10% your fired. boss: (thinking) he should of worked 24 hoar shifts with no pay... o well more money for me. 4.(wife or girlfriend) : honey we need to talk. (wife or girlfriend) :(thinking) this will teach you for forgetting our anniversary. (second) (wife or girlfriend) : honey we need to talk. your never allowed to see your friends again. (wife or girlfriend) : (thinking my twisted version mind you) bwahahaha now I will make him hang out with my friends all day long. sorry for the length of this but a lot of scenarios and just wanted to get them all.

64. (we need to talk) (3↑, 3↓)
The sure fire way to tell that your boyfriend/girlfriend is about to break up with you.

"We need to talk, I don't think this is working out..."

65. (we need to talk) (2↑, 3↓)
you say this to a person when they have done somethiing to offend you its similar to step into my office

We need to talk. I can't belive you exposed my secret.

66. (we need to talk) (1↑, 3↓)
a bit like that metaloaf song...two outta three..... "i want u, i need you, but there's just no way i'm ever gonna love you u now don't be sad, two outta three ain't bad." u fit, u nice, u ain't my fit...fook arf"..

e.g. the fact that u keep telling me i am nowhere as sexy as HER yet i'm less moral. my fucking bass never cheated on me.....fuck u , ur momma 2 and yer daddy\!"

67. (we need to talk) (3↑, 6↓)
the famous saying by all significant others when there about to break up with you.

Tom...... i think we need to talk

68. (we need to talk) (2↑, 6↓)
What a gurlfriend tells her boyfriend when they did something worng or they are breaking up.

Rita telling Dean they need to talk about the way he drinks. or Rita telling Dean they need to talk because she had enough of his BS and it is over.

69. (we need to talk) (4↑, 9↓)
When your boyfriend gets bored but decides to dump you nicely so he can still get a shag when it pleases him. Usually followed by the phrase [I still want to be friends] and [it's not you, it's me]. What your mom says when she finds out you fucked your now ex-boyfriend.

Guy: We need to talk Girl: *cries* Guy: Look, it's not you, it's me, I mean I still wanna be friends... it's just not working out. *Girl gets lots of cuddles of now ex-bf, goes home and peices together heart which is then shattered again after the discovery of his new gf* Mom: Rebekah, we need to talk. daughter:*panics and mutters 'oh shit, I'm gonna get a bollocking coz of that twat... and that cheap new tart of his... It hurts :'('* *faked innocence* Why? Mom: Rebekah have you ever had sex? Daughter then comes up with a lie which mother sees thru instantly

70. (We need to talk) (5↑, 25↓)
I'm too shy to admit it but here goes "I want to screw your brains out". A universal mating call.

Two people just met and are just getting to know each other; :we need to talk".

Related: talk, bitch, discussion, dump, freak out, it's over, need, relationship, to, we
Last updated: 2012.03.01

Urban English dictionary. 2013.

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